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Snapple Real Fact #732

The chicken is the closest living relative of Tyrannosaurus Rex.
who doesn’t like Snapple facts? really, like have you ever been in a situation where someone opens up a Snapple, reads the fact and gets so angry that they throw the bottle in disgust and hit a small Filipino man tending his butterfly garden.
no of course not, maybe because the second part of that scenario only happens in my dreams or maybe because no one hates Snapple facts. who comes up with these facts. imagine being the man responsible for what becomes a Snapple fact. 
Snapple Real Fact #795: In the U.S.A. it is required by law that women flash any person who shouts “show me your Snapple facts!”.

Snapple Real Fact #772: The blogger of Super Serious Blogging as a 12 inch wiener.

Ohh, careful, that tickles.

Facial hair.
I’m not sure if this is embedded into the male DNA or if I just have this weird fascination but i would love to have facial hair. Have it be a full blown beard, a goatee or even a mustache I dream of being Mr. Cool with the perfectly groomed facial hair. No; what am I talking about, everyone loves Facial hair. Go ahead and do a quick Google image search for “Facial hair”, do you see it? Every single image is awesome from chops to women with beards, all of it is purely epic. Of course I would start off with a beard as it requires the least amount of upkeep and looks great on anyone; honestly have you seen any better looking men?
regardless, after I have a nice base of facial hair I would move on to a goatee to show the ladies that I care about my facial hair and that I take the extra time to look “Bad ass as hell”-my 6 year old brother.
well after the 4 months of being called an artistic douche bag I would finally move past the goatee as I have become to cool for it. I would finish my facial hair journey with a mustache, a prefect sexy mustache. All the ladies will stare at the little patch of sex that sits on top of my lip and fantasize about how it would feel.
oh yes, it tickles.
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